Scene

This works best if you read it as Fry and Laurie. Fry obviously being Howard.

Howard: Morning, Basil.
Basil: Morning, Howard. How are you this fine day?
H: Oh, resplendent.
B: Really? May I inquire as to why you're in such a chipper mood?
H: Certainly. I'm having an existential crisis, you see.
B: Oh, you lucky dog.
H: I know, I know. It's a good one too.
B: Gotten any cards yet?
H: And chocolates and flowers.
B: How delightfull. I'm afraid I haven't had an existential crisis since that near-death experience five years ago.
H: Ah, but that was a two-for-one. You have to value quality alongside quantity.
B: I know. Still, five years of the same outlook on life and existence. It gets a bit tedious, you know.
H: Well, have you tried having an existential crisis about the fact that you're not having any existential crises?
B: I did, but it resolved itself instantly.
H: Oh. Yes, I suppose it would.
B: But never mind that. What is your most recent introspective calamity about?
H: Well, it's to do with the multiverse, you see.
B: Oh, I don't go for that sort of thing.
H: I know you don't. Hence the contextual preface before the explanation.
B: Much appreciated. I'll get you one of those multiverse specific cards that says something witty like:"Get well next universe." Anyway, carry on.
H: Well, I've found myself wondering whether or not my other selves are still alive. In itself not particularly important, but then the following occurred to me: if we assume that all things must happen at all times, does that not mean my continued survival necessitated the death of myself many times over? Have I not, merely by existing, doomed myself millions of times without sparing so much as a thought for the poor sods who have reached their end before mine?
B: Blimey. That's a good one.
H: It is, isn't it?
B: I mean, what do you do about it? There's no direct reason to feel guilty.
H: Precisely. And yet, the seed of guilt is there.
B: Very true. But what if you kill yourself to atone?
H: Ah, but then another me will not have killed himself and all I'll be doing is adding to his burden through my death. And yet if I don't, then I know he did and I carry that burden.
B: All the worse because you're aware of it.
H: Precisely.